Friday Funnies

So I have had a few funny Brady stories floating around up in my currently mushy brain and wanted to share them.......

Last weekend we were in Home Depot getting paint and primer and Brady announced, very loudly, "Daddy, I farted!!"  and it sure smelled like it.

Today we went to Jim's work to say hi and sign some paperwork.  When we got there a few girls from the office stopped to say hi.  One of the girls says to Brady "You have some cool shoes."  We then went into the office and sat down.  I heard him saying to himself "Brady has cool shoes" and admiring his feet.

Brady loves to announce his comings and goings.  Today I was in the shower and I could hear him yelling "Brady is coming upstairs."  He ended up going up and down the steps a few times while I was getting ready and each time felt the need to announce that he was on his way up. 

I try my best to not curse and I do pretty good, but crap is a word I still do use and apparently I use it often.  Most often when I get into the car to leave I must say it a lot and its usually because I forgot something.  Well today I say "oh crap" at the end of the street because I realized I was on E and didn't feel like stopping for gas.  He says to me "what did Mommy forget?"

On a nicer language note, I make it a point to never say "oh my god" so instead I say "oh my goodness/gosh".  He has started saying it correctly in context and he sounds like such an old lady saying it.  Its so funny.

We were on our way to Target the other day, surprising I know, and I asked him if he wanted to share an ICEE.  I don't get them often, no seriously I don't, so its a fun treat.  He then proceeds to tell me that he likes the blue ones and I like the red ones, which is in fact the truth, but we usually just get red to share since well I am the boss.  He then tells me "Brady gets a blue one and Mommy gets a red one."  Smart kid, I was happy to not have to share mine with a notorious straw biter and I can't believe my 2 year old was smarter than me to come up with the idea to get our own.

So we are at the park yesterday....

and he has some serious attitude with me, still not sure why.  So I am taking pictures, from afar mind you, and he starts yelling at me "Mommy NO!!!" and runs towards me....

He comes over to me and says "Mommy, no cheese face and no more camera!"  Yes I take lots of pictures, but most of the time I am just taking them, not making him look or smile.  This is him with his hand up blocking me, the paparazzi, from taking anymore pictures.

Of course I said ok sure and put the camera away..... until he wasn't looking.  He caught me and was so pissed and yelling at me to stop.  Good thing we were alone at the park, otherwise people might really have wondered why my kid was yelling at me for taking his picture.

What I am loving about Brady these days

I feel like time is both flying and going at a snail's pace.  Its flying in the fact that my little baby boy is a giant kid now and its going slow in that I am STILL going to be pregnant for 4.5 more weeks.  I am getting on average 4 comments a day about how "its any day now" or "must be twins".  I just try to chuckle because what else am I going to do, punch them??  I even got a "please tell me you were due 2 days ago!!" and then she was shocked to hear that I had 35 more days.  I am working on getting Brady's room completed (as in the decor and stuff) and we are starting to paint the baby's room this weekend.  I can't believe how little we have done for her arrival, but I guess that's what happens when its the second kid.  I know I still have plenty of time to get stuff done so I keep ignoring to the more important things and do other stuff.  I should hopefully be done Brady's room by the end of the weekend so look for pics then.  Her room won't be done for at least 2 or 3 more weeks, just in time I guess. 

OK, so about Brady......
Whenever he is excited and anticipating something, like a snack or craft or movie starting, he will say "Mommy makes awesome" or if he is completing a task he will say "Brady makes awesome".  Daddy was "making awesome" when putting the train set together in his room.  It feels so good to be told you are making awesome.

He is doing so great in his bed still.  No issues at bedtime or naptime.  I am so grateful that he took to this transition because I don't think I could have handled it emotionally or physically to see him be upset or put up a fight.  He doesn't even get down until you go in and tell him its ok to get down.  Part of me wishes he would get down and play but I guess if he doesn't mind laying around in his bed, its all good.  The last 2 days I have gone in there and explained to him that once he wakes up he can get down and play and he still just stays in there.  Oh well.  His bed does seriously look like a toy box most times, full of toys, books, a cup, blankets, hotwheels, and anything else he cares to bring to bed.  I feel bad but apparently he is a nighttime hoarder.  We even moved his train table in his room and he still doesn't sneak out to play.

He associates a lot of things with people and past experiences.  For example, after my mom drinks a cold sip of water she says "ahhh", so now he will do that and say "that's what Mimi says."  He also pointed out that I do this often too, I didn't even know it.  If I see a punch buggy car and say "punch buggy blue" to him he will say "that's what Mema says."   Anytime he someone playing soccer he tells us Jacob likes soccer because he went to a game of Jacob's once.

He has become quite the negotiator.  I have a 3 show rule in the mornings, so after 3 20 minute shows we are done and move onto something else, usually a craft or letter activity.  After we are done said activity he will start to barter and trade with me.  "Mommy, 1 show and then naptime" "Mommy 1 more show, I pick Diego" "Mommy when we get home 1 show then tubby"."  This would be wonderful if it was 10:30AM or 6PM when we aren't ready for a nap or bedtime.  It started just with shows and now its "Mommy, 2 yogurt cookies" said in the cutest little way or "Mommy 3 preztel rods."  Which, again, would be wonderful if it weren't 7:55AM.  I will have to get this on video because I just love it and think he is so funny, but I am supposed to because he is my kid.  I am going to have to get this on video because its hysterical.  I just heard him practicing his negotiation in the car on the way home.  It was what he planned on asking for once we got home.  "One show mommy, then naptime, I pick Diego, one show, one show mommy."  And then he proceeded to fall asleep, so all that practicing for nothing.

We noticed he can now finish most sentences of the books we have been reading him forever.  I find this to be absolutely hysterical and he looks so proud of himself when "reading".  My favorite is Hippos Go Berserk.  Its a counting book and he almost has it memorized and in the middle you are supposed to shout "all the hippos go berserk".  At first we thought it was funny that he would say berserk and now he says the whole sentence really loud and its great!!

He has become my super handy helper.  He has been so helpful around the house picking things up and helping me so I don't have to bend down.  He switches the laundry for me which is a HUGE help since they are so low to the ground and it kills me to bend down so far.  The other day in BJs he carried a pretzel tub since I was temporarily insane and didn't bring a cart to shop thinking I could just carry my stuff(which included a giganto box of diapers and a really heavy box of wipes, idiot I tell you!).  Last week in Bed, Bath, and Beyond he carried his new sheet set.  If only he could get himself into and out of carts I would be all set.  He is also following directions so well these days which keeps me sane.

Jim says he is currently loving that Brady wants to play soccer all the time.  What is isn't loving is the fact that Brady seems to be a lefty.  Not sure why this is a big deal.  I guess its a boy thing?? And they play soccer in the house which probably isn't the best idea but it keeps them out of my hair while I make dinner so I guess for now it works.

We talk a lot about the baby coming but I am pretty sure he has no idea how much his world is going to be rocked.  Two days ago he brought me one of his cars, orange to match my shirt he told me, put it on my belly and said it was for the baby to play with.  I hope he gets quickly that she won't be playing cars anytime soon and its best not to try to make her.

He has started crying in the morning when Jim leaves for work.  This wasn't an issue before since Brady stayed in his crib until I woke up.  But now that he is in his big bed we get to him quicker meaning he is up and out before Jim leaves for work.  While its not something I love, its still sweet to see.  Yesterday he said "Brady go to work too."  No wonder why Jim snuck out of the house super early today without seeing either of us.

He told me yesterday when he wakes up from his nap he would like to go shopping.  Man, I love this kid!!

What I am NOT loving:
*The fact that he now somehow knows how to restart his shows on the DVR when they end.
*He knows how to insert and play a DVD.  Which isn't good since he doesn't take the DVD that's already in there out, so he presses play while there are 2 DVDs spinning.  Not good.
*The constant request for cookies, snacks, and shows.  This starts first thing in the morning.  No dude, you are not having yogurt cookies (yummiest cookies ever from Trader Joe's) at 7:47AM.


And a few pictures from last night.  When you ask Brady what his favorite baseball team is, he says White Sox.  And yes, its 7PM and he is still in his jammies and wear a baseball hat indoors. 

Not sure if you can see his battle wound on his neck.  Today it looks worse I think.  He nearly decapitated himself on his shopping cart.  He pushed down on the handle too hard I guess and it flipped back and cut his throat.  And of course I saw it happen in slow motion.  Poor guy!!  But he is a toughie and cried for a minute and went right back to shopping.  Damn metal PBK cart, its super cute but dangerous.

That sneaky fox....

Very recently Brady has begun to show a very imaginative side.  Its mostly done in whispers with just himself, we aren't really involved in the stuff he is pretending.  For example, yesterday we pulled into the garage and I closed the garage door behind us, making it pretty dark in there.  I am gathering my crap before hauling my fat ass out of the driver's seat and I can hear him whispering.  I stop to listen and he is pretending the dinosaurs were coming and he was telling someone to watch out.  I love this stage, you never know what new stuff he will come up with.  So today during craft/learning/art time I pulled out a pack of Dora magnets I bought in the dollar spot forever ago.  I gave him a cookie sheet and wasn't really sure what he would do with it.  Well, to my surprise they were a huge hit and he immediately started in with his pretending.  I heard him talking about Swiper the sneaky fox and saying watch out Dora.  He was moving them all over the sheet acting out an episode most likely.  It was hysterical.  We had been playing with our colored cubes right before, so I showed him how to cover Swiper up like he was hiding in a bush (which often happens on the show).  We built little houses for Dora and Boots to live in and then Swiper would come along and swipe the house apart.  This was all his doing.  He giggled and giggled and really enjoy doing this himself.  Its really hard for me to not interact, so luckily its super entertaining to watch him create.

Then he was inventive and decided to use the scrap part as a puzzle.  I didn't plan on this at all but he enjoyed putting the magnets back in the spots they came from.

A funny thing he has started to say is "coming right up" like in a diner.  I will offer him whatever choices for breakfast lets say, and he will make his choice, climb up on the chair at the table, and say "cantaloupe, coming right up."

He is big into "Brady no like it."  This could be about a food he doesn't like, something that is scaring him, or if he is being tickled and doesn't want to be.  He is very serious in his opinion of what he likes.

He has been bringing a Buzz action figure to the table the last few days.  Yesterday I gave him a bowl of peas while I was making our dinner and I could hear him offering Buzz some peas.  I asked him if Buzz liked peas and according to Brady Buzz loves peas.  He shared a pretzel rod with him today, he offered him the taco he refused to eat at dinner, and let him have some apple juice from his sippy.  He has quite the imagination.  Buzz is currently having a sleepover in the big boy bed, which is going amazingly well.  We have had no issues whatsoever.  He is sleeping and napping like a champ.  It still makes me sad to see my tiny baby, who isn't tiny or a baby for that matter, in that giant sized bed.  He loves to lay in there all snuggled up reading.  Yesterday, I looked at the monitor after he woke up from his nap.  He was laying there and must have dropped something off the bed.  So he slid off, grabbed whatever it was, and scurried back up on the bed like the floor was on fire.  It was so funny.  I am thinking he just doesn't know he can get down and I surely won't be telling him.  From his bed he can reach his books so he has plenty to entertain himself with.

Random picture:  someday I am thinking he will make one hell of a valet.  He lines these cars up so perfectly every single day.

I was in the kitchen today and I could hear him saying "cheese Zoe" and I knew he had his camera with him so I snuck up to see what he was doing.  He was sitting in the foyer taking pictures of the dogs.  How cute is he??

And lastly, I was taking my 33 week belly pictures and someone snuck in again.  I couldn't figure it out how to set it to just take one picture, so this is how I got the action shots of him walking into the picture.  It was set to take multiple pictures after 10 seconds.  The beeping must really be interesting to him.

I am gigantic, my whole body hurts, and I throw up in my sleep every night.  Pregnancy is so fucking magical. 6 weeks to go.

My second shooter

I found a really really old camera in the cabinet today and thought it would be the perfect camera for Brady.  I originally planned on getting him a kid's camera as a gift from his baby sister to give him in the hospital, but this one might be even better.  He loves using mine but I got a new one and don't want him to ever lay a finger on it.  So he got a chance to try out "Brady's camera, cheese" tonight and thought it/he was hysterical.

He kept taking pictures of the table so I told him to hold it up high.

Taking pictures of himself.

OK a few others:

Brady in a bucket with the baby.

And lastly, a funny outtake.  I take my own belly pictures each week by setting it up on the kitchen table and setting the timer.  Brady wanted to see what the beeping sound was and got in the picture.  I just thought this was too funny not to share.  Sorry if you hate to have to see this, get over it.

Thisguy

After finishing up our week's Y activities I offered him a few things and he chose watercolor painting.


A few funny stories:

Last night after we read books we were sitting in the dark snuggling.
Me:  What do you want to do tomorrow?
Him: Baseball game
Me:  OK we can play baseball
Him:  No, watch baseball game.  White Sox.
He is a boy after his father's heart.

We were talking in the car yesterday about going on vacation.
Me:  What should we bring to vacation?
Him: Trains, put them in Mommy's bag.
Me:  OK, sure what else?
Him: Cara and Miles
Me:  They can't come buddy, they have to stay at their house with baby Gavin.  What else?
Him:  Ice cream and cookies.
A boy after his mother's heart.

It no secret that I don't like stuffed animals.  Mostly because they dogs screw with them, trying to bite them, rubbing themselves on them, etc.  Its just not worth it.  Brady got this Dr. Suess guy for his birthday and just re-discovered him in his toy box.  While I was out shopping last night, Jim said he was carrying him around everywhere, he brough him out to dinner, and into AC Moore.  Well today I had to change Brady's poop diaper and he told me Thisguy (the animal's name apparently) pooped too and needs a diaper.  I found a tiny diaper sample I got from Babies R Us and put it on there.  He told me that Thisguy needed to get a chocolate for pooping.  Yeah buddy, it doesn't work that way.  So now Thisguy is sporting a diaper and being pushed around in the stroller as I type and apparently requesting juice boxes.  I am not sure if Thisguy is a good example for Brady to hang around with.  Here he is snuggling with Thisguy watching Cars.

The physical proof

Well my mere mention of my marble competing days caused quite the interest in my loserdom.  I went digging to find some physical proof that I did indeed compete/play marbles.  I was that cool.  I am totally ok with admitting this little known fact.  So ok with it, that I am happy to provide this entertainment in the form of pictures.

So lets look close:

I have a sweet ass hat that goes well with my acid washed jean shorts.  My mom wants it noted that they were Espirit shorts.  I am wearing knee pads which was a very important part of the mibsters uniform.  My husband did some google searching to see what info he could come up with to use in the fight to make me feel stupid.  And in this searching he learned that we were referred to as Mibsters.  Not sure exactly why we were called that, but Jim finds it hysterical.  Jim even tried contacting someone to get more pictures/ info but the link didn't work.  He totally thought this would embarrass me by posting it on facebook, but not so much.  I am wondering if google is going to contact me to find out why for the first time in who knows how long there has been a ton of googling to find out info on this little known sport, marbles.  I spent about an hour this morning reading articles and reminiscing on the good old days traveling around and competing.  All the "cool" places we went and things we did.  I even found a bag of my marbles.  I also found out that sadly Mr. Ridpath, my coach passed away in 2005.  He was such a nice man, I teared up reading his obituary.  Anyway, back to making fun of me....

And here is me standing out front of our hotel.  This picture informed us that I was indeed the 3rd place finisher in 1992.  Again, anyone needing an autograph is free to contact me.  I will send off glossy 8X10s right away.   Maybe I will even use one of these pictures.

I am Lauren and I am proud to be a former Mibster!!!!!  Eat that Jimbo.

Just another day....

This weekend while we were at the beach I found another rock to make another creature with.  This time I saw this one in FamilyFun magazine (love this magazine!).  This morning he painted his turtle and tonight he put the eyes on.  I had to assemble it while he slept since I used liquid nails to glue the legs on and that's some seriously adhesive glue, I didn't want him near it.  Side note:   my solution for anything that's broken it to liquid nails it.  I love that shit.

Today I needed to go to the grocery store and Brady now knows even when we drive by that they give out cookies there.  So he gets in that racecar up front and I go about my shopping.  We get done and to the car and he climbs out and he looks like a chocolate cookie exploded in his face.  Can you see it in this picture?  Click on the picture to see it larger.  I can't believe he went through the whole store like this and talked to people.  He told the woman at the check out bagging section about Mickey Mouse and a motorcycle.  It was all over his face, under his finger nails, on his shirt, and later I found a chuck on the butt of his shorts.  WTF?!?  Did he eat any of it?

Silly boy trying on felt hats at Michael's while I wasn't paying attention:

We also made handprint strawberries:  (idea found here)

So everytime we are at Michael's he looks longingly at these rubber animal tubes.  I always say no but today I had a 50% off coupon and felt nice so I bought him a pack of dinosaurs.  It made him so happy so it was worth the $3.50.  He took them to dinner tonight and on the way there he was talking about upcoming dinner.  He asked me if the dinosaurs would want his dinner.  I told him to "ask them, how would I know!"  So ask them he did, and it was the funniest conversation I have heard in a long time.

Brady: Ask them, dinosaur do you want grilled cheese, french fries, ketchup?

Pause

Brady:  Yes!

There were 14 dinosaurs in the pack and I am pretty sure he asked each one.  Some said no by the way.  But he was so cute and funny looking them in the tiny little face while asking them.  Here he is playing with them at dinner, he loves walking them along the "street." I eventually drew stop signs with different words on them, stop go, watch out, and when his dinosaur would get to that sign he would scream out what it said.  It was cute and funny but I am sure the other diners didn't care to hear him screaming out the words.

He told me this guy was doing piggy rides.  I am assuming he means piggy back rides, but how the hell does he know what they are?

And a few more funny stories: tonight while we were putting the eyes on the turtle he covered his face and told me "Brady's shy."

Once we got home from dinner he told me "dinosaurs home safe and sound."  I asked him how the hell he knew that phrase and he told me Bot says so (Team Umizoomi)

When we got to the dollar store today he said "we are at the 2nd store" which in fact it was the 2nd store.  I didn't know he knew that concept of first, second, etc.

We read Go Dog Go for the first time today.  There is a part in the book where a girl and boy dog meet.  She asks him if he likes her hat, he says, no, they both say goodbye.  It happens a few times throughout the book.  A little while later I was in the kitchen and I head him "reading".  "You like my hat? No.  Byebye, byebye."  What a smart boy!!

He is like a for real person now.  My mom calls him a human sponge, but I just can't understand how he hasn't said anything really bad like the F word, which I am sure has slipped out within ear shot at some point.  I am sure my days are numbered.