30 Weeks

30 weeks..... that's how pregnant I am.  I am a pretty good counter and should have expected that after being 29 weeks pregnant would come 30, but I must have been on crack because its just hitting me.... I will be having a baby in less than 9 weeks.

HOLYFUCKINGSHITBALLS!!!

And not only am I going to have a baby in 9 weeks..... its a girl.  Again, I knew this, but its really now hitting me.  And its also just now hitting Jim.  On Sunday as we were coming off the beach there was a minivan parked right there.  The back door was open and there was a n.aked little girl.  I looked at her and her dad who was trying to get her to get dressed and just smiled at them.  Well Jim noticed something.  He noticed she didn't have a p.enis.  Which then made him realize the baby we are having won't have a p.enis either.  From this point forward we shall call him Captain Obvious.  Maybe he slept through high school biology and didn't realize this fact, but yes Jim, girls have different parts than boys do.  This is giving my husband extreme anxiety.  Hopefully he pulls his shit together in the next 9 weeks, because I will not be on diaper duty alone.

But seriously, I will say again, I am having a baby in less than 9 weeks.  We will be scheduling the exact eviction someday this week so then I can really start crapping myself.  Surgery, a baby, recovery, nearing winter in New England.....ahhhhhh.  Is it too late to change my mind?  What if I save my receipt?  OK, just kidding (sort of).  But a baby will arrive here in this household and we haven't done a blessed thing to help make this a smooth transition.  Brady's big boy room is not ready, or even close for that matter, which means her room hasn't been painted yet.  I have bought girl clothing and 1 box of teeny tiny diapers but that's the extent of my preparation.  When I was pregnant with Brady I am pretty sure by this point the nursery was completely done and I am sure my neurotic self had other shit done too.

As scared as I am, I can't wait to not be pregnant anymore.  I HATE being pregnant, this is no secret.  There is an alien in there pushing on my hipbones, wedging herself in my ribs, and causing me to feel like I have to pee constantly.  I shouldn't complain though, because besides from back pain (which I always have) I haven't had any issues.  I sleep fine, I can eat whatever, I can keep up with Brady, I still fit in most of my maternity clothes, and I have an excuse to eat multiple ice cream sandwiches each day.  I haven't gained too much yet, which is great.  I miss beer, like I miss it a lot.  I have no swelling, no headaches like I did with Brady, pretty much the picture perfect pregnancy.  But still..... I am over it.  I spent 3 months in 2009 pregnant and now 7 months in 2010, that's enough for a full pregnancy, where can I go to pick up my baby?

And the best news, Jim has already decided when we should do this all again..... and its not that far away.  Ahhhhhhh!!!!!  I think I am going to go hide under the bed with a box of ice cream sandwiches and cry myself to sleep.  At least until I hear certain someone says "Mommy wake up, I pooped!"

So, let the countdown to a non-p.enis baby begin.   And oh yeah, we still haven't picked a name.  We are so not ready.